Understanding the People Pleasing Personality: Traits, Causes, and Solutions

There are some such people in our lives who say yes to everything but never say no. They are more concerned about the feelings of others than themselves; they are always available to them, and whenever there is any problem, they fix it.

But when those same people go among their friends, they do not treat them like that; they even make them feel as if they do not exist.
In this blog, SavvyPsyche will help you understand the People Pleasing Personality, your sign, and how to cope with it.

Let’s understand the People Pleasing Personality:

People with a pleasing personality is in which you think and worry more about others than themselves. You always try to keep others happy and satisfied with you, and you prefer their likes to your own.

Difference between kindness and People Pleasing Personality:

You should know the difference between kindness and people-pleasing.
Kindness is a natural human ability. Whenever you show kindness to someone, that person will not hurt you; he will know your value.
While a people-pleasing personality, you forget your own value and worth; you only listen to others and focus on their attention, and this comes back to hurt you once in a while when you are not treated the same way you have treated them.

Signs of People Pleasing Personality:

Here are some of the signs found in people-placing personalities.
• Fear of disappointment
• Fear of being alone
• Always remaining silent in any conflicts
• Taking on others’ responsibilities
• Feeling guilty for any mistake
• Apologising excessively
• Constantly seeking approval from others
• Ignoring one’s own needs
• Difficult to say no

What are the Causes of a People Pleasing Personality?

A pleasing personality doesn’t happen suddenly, but rather develops due to many causes.

• Childhood experience
Some children develop a pleasant personality from childhood experiences. Parents teach their firstborn child to look after his younger sisters and brothers, take care of them, never bite them, always love them, and never hurt them. That child learns all this from childhood experience itself and develops a pleasing personality.
• Bullying
At some stage, when a person goes through bullying, he always adopts a Pleaser personality as his mechanism because he does not want to get into any conflict and does not want to go through the same bullying phase again.
• Fear of abandonment
A person with a people-pleasing personality is always afraid that people might leave them alone. He always remains a Pleaser to his friends so that they do not leave him alone.
• Past trauma
A person suffering from some past trauma always wants to keep their friends alive and does not want to lose them. The fear of losing them also leads to pleasing people.
• Strict parenting
Strict parenting plays a very important role in a pleasing personality. When parents reward a child for doing well and punish him for doing badly, then that thing gets converted into a pleasing personality.
• Low self-esteem
When a person always considers himself not good enough to others, he will always make himself available to others until they are happy. A people-pleasing personality is an important quality of a person with low self-esteem.

People Pleasing Personality impacts your mental health:

• Constantly trying to please others more than yourself mentally tires a person, and can also lead to a loss of identity.
• Hiding your own emotions is the reason for your sadness and frustration.
• You feel anxious about making mistakes all the time.

How to stop being a people pleaser?

Some healthy ways to overcome your People Pleasing Personality.

• Learn to say No
Feel comfortable with something, be confident, and say no to it.

• Set your boundaries
Create your boundaries between yourself and other people. Your identity should be so strong that other people can never cross your boundaries.

• Stop over-apologise
Mistakes happen. If you make a mistake, you won’t apologise repeatedly. It’s enough that you realise your mistake.

• Prioritise yourself
You should take care of others, but never ignore yourself. Love your own work. Give yourself priority. Think about yourself.

• Accept that not everybody likes you
Try to understand that not everybody likes you. If you like someone, it’s not compulsory that they will also like you.

• Stop over-explaining
If you are asked anything, you will answer it to the point. Don’t over-explain your points.

• Develop emotional strength

Being sensitive is a great thing, but being emotionally weak can sometimes damage your inner self. Therefore, build emotional strength within yourself.

• Express your feelings
Never hide your feelings and emotions. Whenever you feel anything, express your feelings and feel mentally relaxed.

• Stand for yourself
Always take a stand for yourself. Even if it’s just a joke, never compromise on your self-respect.

Reminder:

If you are sensitive, it’s okay. You care about others’ feelings, that’s a good habit. But don’t ignore yourself. People’s problems are not your problems. Thinking too much about the people all the time disturbs your own mental peace. Therefore, think about yourself too and make life easier.