Workplace Gaslighting: 10 Signs It’s Happening to You & How to Stop It

Workplace gaslighting is one of the most psychologically damaging forms of manipulation happening in offices every single day — and most victims never recognize it until serious damage has already been done.

You are just overreacting. This situation is not that bad; you are just being overly sensitive. You are looking for an excuse to do work.  Comments like these you hear daily at work from your coworkers and boss.

And then, somewhere, you start to doubt your own identity.

Am I really that sensitive? Do I have no talent? Maybe I am really sensitive. Maybe I do not have any talent. These thoughts bother me.

During my graduation studies, I was doing a job in a workplace. I had no job experience, and I did everything very slowly, so that I would not make any mistakes and get into trouble with my boss. At that time, my colleagues used to take advantage of this and manipulate me because I doubted my abilities. I couldn’t complete work before deadlines. I wasn’t playing the right role in my teamwork project, etc. After that, I used to get stressed even while going to the office, thinking that I would make a mistake today or I would make another blunder.
Eventually, people make you feel like you don’t remember anything, that you’re careless and irresponsible.

Are you being manipulated at your workplace? Let’s read this article to find out exactly what happened and how you can stay positive in all of this.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is psychological manipulation, in which people confuse you about your own perception and abilities.

What is workplace Gaslighting?  (A Short Definition)

When someone manipulates you in your workplace, controls your memory, and confuses you in their own perception, it is called workplace gaslighting.

10 Warning Signs You’re Being Gaslit at Work Right Now:

1. You doubt your own abilities.
2.  You always say sorry even when it’s not your fault.
3. You are made to feel that you are very irresponsible.
4. You are made to feel that you are very sensitive.
5. Your confidence suddenly decreases.
6. You get so confused when you talk.
7. Everything seems blurry and dark to you.
8. You feel very lonely in the workplace
9. You feel like you need to prove yourself in every argument time.
10. You feel like someone is trapping you and targeting you again and again, but you don’t understand what is happening.

Example:

Co-worker:

There’s a meeting with our boss today. Have you finished all your work?

You:

There was a meeting today, didn’t you tell me?

Co-worker:

I already told you about this meeting.

You:

No, I don’t know, but you didn’t tell me anything like that.

Co-worker:

You do not remember anything. You weren’t focused on your last meeting either.

This kind of daily thing confuses you and makes your memory forget; others take advantage of this and control you.

My First Job Almost Convinced Me I Was Incompetent — Here’s What Was Actually Happening:

I applied for a job while still pursuing my graduation. It was my first time working when I was still very new. I had no job experience, so my colleagues took full advantage of this and manipulated me. I used to do my task on time. My seniors used to scold me every time and say that you are not doing the work properly your focus was not on our project.

They manipulated me to such an extent that I would get confused about my matters, and I would forget what points I had to make in meetings. No one told me anything before the deadlines. On that day, I had to scold my superiors, saying, “You forgot.” Then I blamed myself for being so irresponsible and for being so careless. Slowly, I realized that it was not my fault. But these people forced me to doubt my abilities and wanted to control me.

Moral of the story:

Whenever you feel like you’re being targeted at your workplace for your own strengths, be alert that they’re putting you in an identity crisis. So, make sure you free yourself from their trap before you become their target.

How does workplace Gaslighting affect mental health?

When your workplace environment is one where you are being gaslighted all the time, your mental peace gets disturbed. You feel mentally stressed and mentally tired all the time. Once in a while, you start feeling as if you have become emotionally numb. You feel sad and depressed most of the time. You have self-doubt about your own decisions, which can lead to an identity crisis.

Conclusion:

If something is mentally disturbing you, you should stop overthinking about that thing. Until you get yourself mentally corrected, other things will dominate you.

Why Do People Gaslight Others at Work? 10 Psychological Reasons

Some people who target others for work gaslighting have intentions behind this. There are many reasons for doing this, 10 of them are:

1. They Need to Control and Dominate Others:

Gaslighters feel power by manipulating and controlling other people.

2. They Need to Control and Dominate Others:

They feel insecure about themselves and hence target other people by manipulating them.

3. Fear of Losing Their Position or Power at Work:

They are afraid that someone has taken away their position where they have power, status, and position from them, and that they control them by manipulating their perceptions.

4. Fear of Losing Their Position or Power at Work:

Such people enjoy controlling someone, manipulating their memory and perceptions to suit their ego.

5. Past Influences and Learned Manipulative Behavior:

Gaslighters also do this under the influence of past experiences or trauma they have had in their past lives.

6. Sensitive to handling criticism:

Those people themselves cannot handle negative comments, so before getting criticized, they manipulate the person in front of them and confuse them with their own perceptions.

7. Avoid responsibilities:

Such people themselves shirk their work and put the blame on someone else.

8. Fear of being revealed:

These people have some weaknesses that they always want to hide from others, hence they always control themselves by manipulating the atmosphere.

9. Checking boundaries:

If these people target you once, if you do not take your stand properly, they target you again and again because they have not kept their boundaries within their limits.

10. Misuse of power:

If these people are in a high position, like a boss or manager, then they misuse their power because they know that your position is at a lower level than theirs.

Conclusion:

Such people, due to their habits and reasons, feel powerful and achieve inner satisfaction by doing all this. But if these are stopped with time and dealt with properly, then they can cope with all this.

Effects on life due to workplace Gaslighting: 

Workplace gaslighting affects not only your work but the rest of your life as well.

Physical health:

Workplace gaslighting can cause you to lose sleep. You experience insomnia. Disrupted sleep cycles can also affect your physical health.

Reduce growth:

When gaslighters prove you wrong in a conversation, you take that perspective seriously in your mind, due to which you do not take any step in your professional or career, and you are afraid that you might be proven wrong again.

Self-doubt:

Gaslighting makes you lose confidence in yourself, and I think this can have the biggest impact on your life when you have self-doubt.

Avoid socializing:

You experience anxiety around people and conversations in group meetings, fearing that someone might judge you or prove you wrong again. This causes you to pull away and avoid socializing.

Identity crisis:

You doubt your own thoughts and perspectives, what am I doing wrong, you feel like you are too sensitive, you always make mistakes, such thoughts cause you to lose your identity.

Trust issues:

Gaslighting causes you to develop trust issues, and you will not trust anybody in any situation.

Conclusion:

Workplace gaslighting is effective because it involves your work as well as your personal life, changing the way you view things, perceive, and react to them. As long as you keep these perceptions positive, they can’t negatively impact your life.

7 Ways to Protect Yourself From Workplace Gaslighting (Starting Today):

Never share your weak points:

The first and most important thing to remember is never to share your weaknesses with anyone in the workplace. Yes, people control you by turning your own weaknesses against you.

Write every detail:

Create a personal diary where you can write down details of everything. Meetings, presentations, if someone shares something with you, in that case, they can blame you in the next minute, before that, all that information should be written down with the time and date to prove it.

Set your boundaries:

Keep your boundaries within your workplace, so that no one can make personal jokes or insult you at work.

Do your own work:

Never give your work to someone else, nor do anyone else’s work yourself. If the other person’s work is wrong, they can blame you.

Say no to unnecessary work:

If someone asks you for extra work that is not your responsibility, tell them right away and say no. There’s no need to do any unnecessary work.

Seek help:

Take the help of any trusted friend in your workplace, he/she should be your witness during this time.

Stay Calm: Respond With Facts, Not Emotions:

There’s no need to react immediately; stay calm. Instead of reacting emotionally, focus on the facts and respond accordingly.

When HR is your problem, what next?

Sometimes, in workplace situations with colleagues, it is HR who gaslights the employee. In that situation, first of all, you should keep all the documents with you along with all the details, including when you did what your HR told you, for which you have no one to blame. If your HR does not give you justice and shows controlling behavior all the time, then you can file a case as per the labor law. Even after that, if you don’t see any improvement, then you should try talking to the boss and the CEO of every high position.

Seek help through therapy:

To handle and overcome situations like workplace bullying, you need a good licensed therapist for sure. Your mind needs to be mentally relaxed so that you feel very positive and mentally peaceful.

Conclusion:

Next time someone tells you that you have forgotten this or that you are very sensitive and you have made a mistake, and try to control your memory power, at that very moment, carefully check all your details, where and what you have said and done wrong, have you really made a mistake, or are you being blamed?
Second, do not doubt on yourself. This makes it easier for the other person to manipulate you. Thousands of people deal with workplace gaslighting every day, and you, too, have to deal with workplace gaslighting. So, don’t lose heart and focus on reality-based things instead of emotionally draining ones.

Reminder:

If you find the workplace Gaslighting article by Savvypsyche to be a positive change in your life, then share it with your friends and family circle who can relate to it.

Disclaimer:

All information provided in this SavvyPsych article is based on personal experience or studies of mental health awareness. If you have any serious mental health issues, please seek help from a good licensed therapist.