Dark Triad Personality: Warning Signs & How to Protect Yourself Before It’s Too Late

Then, a time comes when things slowly move towards a very weird phase. That person starts hurting you without thinking, and you don’t even realize it. Lying to you or taunting you on every small thing or getting angry at you becomes very normal for him.

A real experience 

My best friend's sister got attached to a boy. I told her not to trust him immediately, take some time, and then start the relationship. She said that he is a very nice and genuine person, and both of us like each other. After 6 months, I got a call from my friend's sister, and she was crying a lot and was telling me how that person had hurt her badly. She told me that in the first few weeks, he was very nice, he cared for her a lot and loved her a lot, but then suddenly his behavior changed, he would be aggressive toward me without any reason, and would doubt me all the time. I couldn't tolerate all this for long, and I left him, but he still mentally tortures me whenever I see him anywhere.

These things may sound familiar to you, and you may also feel like you’re dealing with a Dark Triad personality in your workplace, relationships, or friend circle. In this Savvy Psyche article, we’ll discuss what these Dark Triad personalities really are, how to recognize them, and most importantly, how to distance yourself from them and become mentally healthy.

What is Dark Triad Personality?

The term Dark Triad was first invented in 2002 by two Psychologists, Delroy L. Pulhus and Kevin M. Williams. They combined the three traits in the Dark Triad personality into one group, which includes Narcissistic, Machiavellian, and Psychopathic. These three traits existed for the very first time in psychology.

Generally, we consider dark triad personality as negative, criminal, or toxic and dangerous. But to understand this better, we need to understand three important dark triad personality types.

Related reading on Savvy Psyche.

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Why Do I Get Attached So Easily? Causes, Signs & How to Stop Emotional Attachment

The 3 Types of Dark Triad Personality Explained:

Narcissism

Narcissism, which is also ego-centric behavior. Are very powerful, self-obsessed, different from everyone else, and very confident. However, in reality, these people often feel insecure deep inside, but they will never show this to you. They tend to display a lot of attitude and arrogance.

Behavioral indicators of Narcissistic personality

• Whenever you talk to such a person, he does not pay much attention to what you say, but definitely adds his own story to everything you say.
• Similarly, a person with a narcissistic personality is like this in relationships too; they try to show everyone that they love you a lot, but everything depends on their mood. If the mood is not good, then the whole atmosphere of the house gets negative.

Machiavellianism

Machiavellians are very cunning and selfish. They do not mind hurting others. These people take advantage of friendships; they have maintained patience for a long time, then when they see an advantage, they take advantage of their friendship without thinking about it. These people always think three steps ahead compared to other people. If you share something with these people, then they do it openly against you in front of everyone.

Behavioral indicators of Machiavellian personality

• These people will never make a bad show of themselves, for example, but if you say anything like this to them, they will indirectly insult and make fun of you.
• These people become very friendly with you in the beginning, they try to get to know your secrets, but never share their own things or secrets.

Psychopathic

Psychopathic does not mean that he is a criminal or a mad person. These people are normal people like us who have a family and a normal routine. The only difference is that they internally crave a lot of risk and excitement in their life. If they hurt someone, they do not feel any shame. These people get detached from normal life very quickly, which is why they crave thrills all the time in their lives.

Behavioral indicators of Psychopathic personality

• If you cry in front of them, they will not make you feel comfortable. For them, emotion is a word.
• These people make you feel very special at the beginning of the relationship, in front of everyone, but gradually they start to get bored and lie to you. They also don’t feel any shame when they make mistakes.

These are the three types that define the dark triad personality. A dark triad personality can be any one of these three personalities, or even a combination of all three, signaling you have a dark triad personality. If you meet someone with any of these personalities, you may not immediately, but after some time, automatically realize that you are dealing with that person.

A real-life experience:

I want to share my personal experience with you guys on how I found a narcissistic personality in my workplace and how I coped with it.  It so happens that there was a girl in the place where I used to work.

Let’s keep her name as Liz in this story. She was very nice to me in the beginning; she used to help me with every task and sometimes even guided me. One day, the boss asked me for the presentation of our team project. He said you and Liz do it. I worked hard on it for many days and worked very well on it.

On the day of the presentation, Liz had already presented everything to the boss before me and took all the credit for herself, saying that she did everything herself. I was listening to all this in shock.

Later, I asked Liz if, after all she did, she replied to me without any guilt, saying that she guided me from the beginning and did everything after looking at it, hence all the credit is hers. From that day onwards, his behavior towards me changed drastically. I realized in time that he was acting nice to me only for his own benefit. Then I told to my manager and got my team changed. After that, it became much easier for me to work there. I also kept my personal boundaries very limited with Liz.

How to spot Dark Triad Personality:

People with a dark triad personality are never easily trapped. They are very clever and sharp. Therefore, spotting them can be a little difficult. But if you start observing and applying the following information correctly according to their personality, you can easily spot them. Therefore, observe and understand everything carefully.

How to spot Narcissistic:

• They always turned the focus back to themselves:
  Whatever the conversation is about, the narcissist always tries to make himself the center of attention and ends up focusing everything on himself.

• They don’t say sorry immediately:
  Narcissists rarely say sorry. Even if they’re at fault, they tend to move on with a straightforward response.

• They always need praise:
  They always want everyone to talk about them and praise them. A narcissistic personality always wants to be praised.

• Watch how they treat junior people:
  Whenever you go out with these people, in a restaurant or in any public place, then notice their behavior with juniors, i.e., people who work in small posts, you will understand everything.

• They show themselves as heroes in every story:
  These people never make themselves look like villains. Whenever they are with you or your own people, they make you show a lot of kindness and caring in front of everyone, and in every story, they make themselves look like heroes at the end and others like villains.

How to find Machiavellian:

• They listen to you but can’t share with you:
  They listen to your problems but can not share their personal matters with you:

• They always want returns:
  These people help you whenever you need them or are available at that time. But they maintain patience and take back their help after the time is up. If you don’t help them, they will remind you that they helped you a lot, but today they need you.

• They collect your weaknesses:
  They watch you for a long time to earn your trust. Then, when you reveal your personal secrets and weaknesses, they use them against you. They collect every word, every weakness, and every secret you say.

• They lose interest in you immediately:
  As quickly as it shows interest and forms a deep bond with you, it also gets bored with you and disappears, and moves on just as quickly.

• They have always had a purpose in every situation:
  These people do not appear randomly in any situation; they have a purpose behind any plan or any situation.

How to spot Psychopathy:

• They tell lies about everything:
  Their biggest characteristic is that they lie to you about everything. If you call out their lies, they will lie about it too. Lying to them is very easy.

• They get easily bored:
  These people get bored with everything very quickly. Fun and thrill are essential for them.

• They never feel shame or guilt:
  A psychopathic personality does not. They may perform regret if it is socially necessary, but it does not inform their next action.

• They never accept their fault:
  Whenever you tell them about their faults, they will blame you.

• They do not maintain long-term relationships:
  People with psychopathic personalities never maintain long-term relationships or make any commitments. They tend to get bored in relationships very quickly and move on quickly.

 Now that you have a good understanding of the dark triad personality and its three types, and you have learned how to cope with a dark triad personality, reading this article from Savvy Psyche will become much easier.

How to protect yourself from people who have a dark triad personality:

This section is the most important in the article. Recognizing a dark triad personality is useful. Knowing what to do about it is what actually protects you.

• Not so fast
  People with dark triad personality, at the beginning of every relationship, everything is very good, everything has a very fairy tale vibe, but after some time, it starts changing a lot, so you should not expect anything fast in any relationship, slow down and observe everything.

• Never share your secrets or weaknesses:
  You should never fully trust anyone and never share your weaknesses and secrets immediately.

• Watch how they talk to other people:
  Please note what opinion this person has about the rest of the people around you and how they talk about them.Mostly, these people always speak well of themselves and badly of others in front of you.

• Notice their words or actions:
  When you make a mistake, you must see what words they will say to you at that time and what their reaction will be.

• Trust your true feelings:
  If you have been feeling unsure about them for months, such as feeling unsafe, disrespected, or any other bad behavior, then believe your feelings; this is not a true connection, but it is a warning sign or a red flag signals of dark triad personality.

When to Seek Professional Help

This article provides a starting point for understanding dark triad personalities. But there are situations that go beyond what self-education alone can address.

Consider speaking with a licensed therapist if you are experiencing any of the following:

• →You feel that you cannot leave a relationship, even though you know it is harmful
• →You are experiencing anxiety, depression, or significant disruption to your daily functioning
• →You are being stalked, harassed, or intimidated — by a current or former partner
• →You keep finding yourself in similar relationship patterns and want to understand why
• →You have experienced something that may qualify as emotional or psychological abuse

Conclusion:

No one will tell you that they are a narcissist, Machiavellian, or psychopathic personality. Whenever you feel that someone in your circle is taking unfair advantage of your feelings, that your pain is not acknowledged, or that you are constantly being indirectly insulted or manipulated, understand right away. These are all early signs that you have been manipulated.

Reminder:

Remember, any relationship or commitment that is one-sided cannot be long-term. A healthy and peaceful relationship, whether it’s work-related or your life, is built on mutual understanding, care, respect, and effort.

If, after reading this article, you feel that you are in an unhealthy or effortless relationship, then stop and protect yourself. Don’t put your life into constant stress.

If you feel any help or improvement after reading this article of Savvy Psyche, then you must share it with your friends

Sources & Further Reading